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Why cant I stop thinking about someone

October 23, 2020 Andrew Leave a Comment

You just can’t stop thinking about someone – what they did with you, or the hurt you felt by their words or actions. It’s a pathetic feeling, I know.

When someone hurts us, bitches behind our back; or cheats on us, a loop of thinking about that person or his actions starts that never ends.

You might be thinking the same thing while working in an office, or having dinner at home or even in your executive meeting. That obviously hampers your peace of mind and productivity.

If you are sailing the same boat, no worries, I have done a deep research and found out 11 best ways on how to stop thinking about someone that really work.

How to Stop Thinking About Someone

#1. Stop Virtual Stalking

If you wanna know how to stop thinking about someone, then stop checking what he is doing in his life. You can block them or unfriend from all social media channels.

Constant notifications about him can also cause unpleasant flashbacks. You can also remove his friends with whom you aren’t much close.

Your prime motive is to get out of that stuck zone and stop thinking about someone you shouldn’t do ideally.

#2. Try Some Hobbies

Sitting idle all day and thinking about that person will be a complete torture to yourself. Just get up and experience something that you like to do. 

You can try some hobbies that you gave up when you were engaging with that person in the past. Now it’s better to engage yourself in some physical activity, that would secrete happy hormones and let you feel better. 

You could experience the world with a fresh angle and connect with other positive people in your life. Remember, an entire world exists without them and you don’t need any support to live the life.

#3. Move Your Mind

Try to shift your mind to get out of that missing him or her loop. You can close your eyes and imagine your favorite place, it could be hills or your favourite beach.

You can also seek help from a friend or you can attend your friend’s problems and divert your mind to solve other’s issues that would help you get outta that thinking trap.

You can also try reading a self-help book or watch something on Netflix. 

How to Stop Thinking About Someone Fast

#4. Follow No Contact Rule

You may feel tempted to contact the person and ride the roller coaster of emotions again. But I advise you to avoid this trap. Another effective way is religiously following the no contact rule! 

Do not contact them anyway whether it’s texting, calling or following on social media. 

Not only avoiding will solve the problem, but you should also avoid visiting places that you know you can get a chance to meet them such as a nearby cafeteria. 

You may feel like seeing or talking to them again, but you are going to torture yourself nothing else.

And, if you really need to meet or contact them for any valid reason like financial discussion, always try to have a friend as an intermediary and vice versa.

#5. Try Visualization 

Visualization has proven to be very effective in changing our state of mind quickly but it needs some practice.

You can do visualization in the morning as soon as you get up or you can do this as a last thing before sleeping. I assure you this will help you sleep soundly if you are feeling insomnia due to emotional breakdown and let you get rid of scary dreams of your Ex, if that are haunting you these days.

How to do visualization

Sit in a relaxing position on a chair or on your bed, close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths. Now imagine a beautiful place you are wandering and visualize your ideal partner caring for you. It could be serving you coffee, cracking a joke, hugging you while viewing a scenic landscape or playing guitar for you. You can imagine what feels comfortable and realistic (Please don’t imagine about someone who has left you already). 

Take a deep breath and be grateful to the universe for sending someone perfect for you.

Say Thank you 3 times – Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you !

You would be loaded with a new positivity and I promise each time you will end your visualization with a peaceful smile.

#6. Try 90-second Timeout

If you find visualization difficult, do this simple technique shared by a doctor.

Neuropsychiatrist Dan Siegel shares his experience that you must break your thought pattern to free your stuck mind. He recommends the 90-second Timeout technique.

According to him, An emotion takes only 90 seconds to arise or fall. In simple words, you need only 90 seconds to shift out of a particular mental state, whether its anger or sadness.

Spare 90 seconds for yourself. Take 15 deep breaths in and out without thinking about that person or situation. 

You could easily break the thought cycle and free your mind.

How to Stop Thinking About Someone Gradually

#7. Self Care

This is a gradual but effective way to stop thinking about someone that you still love (whether deserves or not).

Why not start thinking and caring for someone much closer to you and whom you have kept ignoring?

Yes you are right… It’s You only !!

Indulge yourself in activities that empower you to lift your own emotions up. For example, you can start self caring yourself by grooming yourself, massaging your body and hair or getting to parlour for a spa. 

When you start caring for yourself, you will realize a new change in your perspective that would help you get out of that overthinking zone.

#8. Forgive and Forget

This is among the most difficult techniques, but the best one. I learned about this from famous self-help author Louise Hay’s bestseller, “You Can Heal Your Life”.

According to Louise, resentment is the biggest cause of mental illness (depression) as well as physical ailments like cancer.

Someone might have hurt you in the worst way you could imagine, but clinging to hatred makes your life miserable and makes it tougher to forget that person.

You should forgive that person for your own sake. 

Once you will forget that person, you will feel a load taken off your heart. I know it’s quite difficult but once you practice forgiveness, you will feel wonderful and ill thoughts of that person will not bother you anymore.

#9. Go Through the Course

All of these techniques discussed will let you stop thinking about someone only if you’ve felt the pain and give yourself time to grieve.

If you are not validating your emotions, then most probably you are suppressing your emotions that may lead to depression.

Instead of suppressing your emotions, it’s better to walk yourself through the course to feel the pain and sadness, before trying to forgive that person.

#10. Send Them Love

According to Intuitive Medical Healer Wanda Lasseter-Lundy, if you are unable to stop thinking about someone hurt you, do this technique –

Imagine that person and send him or her a ball of white light. Place them in that white light ball and surround them with the white light in the ball. Keep on Imagining this until your anger disappears.

Wanda says this is very effective and they have seen the results in hundreds of people.

#11. Seek Some Support

If the above tips on how to stop thinking about someone have helped, you might be feeling a little better. You can find your bestie or some close friend to spend time together.

If in-person support is not available, you can try out social dating apps. There’s nothing bad in trying out something new.

Hit Tinder, create your profile and find the folks with similar interest areas. Remember you are here for fun, not getting involved again. 

Give yourself time and if the new evolves organically, then you think about that on a serious note. But your primary purpose is to chat and offload your heart, not getting into the similar situation again.

Conclusion

I have shared 11 practical tips on how to stop thinking about someone.. whether you want to stop missing him immediately or you can go with the flow.

Now the ball is in your court and decide what suits you the best. 

Hope you are feeling a bit relaxed now. Just lemme know in the comments.

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